Mental Health Conversation Starter Tips

Before and After the Conversation:

Make time to spend with them. Spending time with someone signals that you care, and it may help them open up to you.

Before the Conversation:

Choose the right time and place to have the conversation. Use a private space and make sure you have the time available to provide support.

Make time.

How to Start the Conversation

“Are you Okay?” Ask the question and mean it. Follow-up with “I’m fine” comments. Show you are listening by asking open-ended questions, providing your full attention, and through your body language.

“I’ve noticed that…” Open the conversation by describing behavior changes you have noticed while expressing genuine concern. For example, “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been coming to the gym as you used to.”

Are you ok?

During the Conversation

Once they share their story with you, ask… “What can I do to support you?“

What have you done in the past to cope with a similar situation? You check in with someone, they share something, and you’re not sure what to say. You can always ask about how they have managed those thoughts, feelings, or situations in the past to help themselves cope.

Not sure what to say? Be honest and say that. You don’t have to have all the answers, just focus on supporting them.

Encourage seeking professional support if someone has struggled for more than two weeks or if they express any suicidal ideation.

What can I do to support you?

Validate feelings and experiences shared with you. For example, “that must be hard to deal with“.  Validating helps others feel heard and cared for and encourages them to keep talking.

Silence can be a great tool. Resist the urge to fill the space. Sitting in silence with someone you are concerned about can encourage them to share more.

Resist giving advice. Instead, listen and show care and concern. Only add your input if it is asked for.

Avoid talking about your own experience. Everyone has different experiences. If you’re too focused on yours, then you may not listen fully to what is being said.

What if you tried to talk but they’re not interested? Follow up and stay connected. It might just be that it wasn’t the right time or place. Let them know you care. They may open up at a later time.

If someone says something shocking or upsetting, focus on your breathing. This will help you stay present and provide support as they share their story.

Reach out if you feel triggered by something that was said or you need support.

That must be hard to deal with…